Mancave by Jo Raven

Author:Jo Raven
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2018-01-15T00:00:00+00:00

Part Two

Matt

Once upon a time, I stood alone inside a cage. The cage was made of dreams and memories. I never thought memories could be so hard. Unbreakable. Impossible to escape.

I remember slamming myself against those self-made bars, the jagged edges of happiness I couldn’t let go of, cutting myself on all the good things I used to have.

The love I used to have, before life fucked me over and took it from me.

I was bitter. I lived on that bitterness, breathed it, drank it, held on to it.

See, I thought it was anger, but it was despair. It was the deepest, darkest night of my life, and it was never-ending. I couldn’t find the light switch, couldn’t find the door.

If you’re supposed to escape that dark alone, well… I failed. I don’t think all of us can get out on our own, no matter how strong we think we are. Sometimes we need help. We need a guiding hand, someone who won’t give up on us, who will hold on no matter what.

When her touch found me, I didn’t understand what it meant, what it was. She was as alien to me as the rest of the outside world. Nothing outside my cage made sense. Like looking through dark glass, I saw everything twisted and blurry.

But she was sharp as a blade, her touch slicing through me, and the pain… the pain woke me up. Brought me back. Being with her was good, it was warm and bright, and I couldn’t escape it.

Couldn’t escape the pleasure of it.

The pleasure brought me back. The joy of being with her.

Her love. She wrapped me up in it until I couldn’t hide anymore. Leaving the cage hurt like knives, hurt like dying.

Living again hurt. Moving past all I used to have, letting in all I could have now. With her.

I found out that it never stops hurting. The memories don’t vanish. They still cut fucking deep.

But living in the present, surrounded with love, that is worth the pain.

It’s worth everything.

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